An Invasion of Grace

Recently, I was presented with the challenge of being alone with our five children for a week in Spain. Bryce had to return to the U.S. for visa purposes and cost-wise it did not make sense to take anyone else. When I first knew of this in the U.S. I was fine with the plan and not overwhelmed or anxious at all but as the time drew nearer I was becoming more concerned. This was actually the longest we had been apart since having children and of course, there is the fact that we would be on separate continents. Knowing my concern was growing would not have helped Bryce so I tried to keep it to myself. I did make some growth and actually asked for prayers from our community and some of our friends back home. I also kept returning to the reality that this was God’s plan and I needed to trust Him!

Early in the week, Eddie our eldest, and I watched a short presentation by Bishop Robert Barron on Pier Giorgio Frassati. Eddie feels very drawn to this young “blessed” from Italy. In it, Bishop Barron included a breakdown of the call of Peter in Luke’s gospel. He used the term “invasion of grace” to describe the moment when Jesus stepped onto Peter’s boat without permission. This phrase, this idea blessed me tremendously and I knew it required further reflection on my part.

As the week continued my phone stopped working, our car stopped working, our butane for our stove ran out and certain children were extraordinarily difficult to parent in an ordinary manner.  Also, Bryce was in Louisiana and his flight was supposed to leave out of Houston during the flooding caused by Hurricane Harvey. At many different points in my life, any one of these challenges might have been enough to cause me feel overwhelmed or done in, because truly being a single parent of five in another country is hard enough without anything else going wrong. However, I was able to continually take things in stride, to remain joyful, and to trust that the Holy Spirit was going to fill me with the grace I needed in order to overcome each challenge. I believe that God had “invaded me with grace.”

This invasion might sound lovely to us sitting on the shore. Peter gets chosen by Jesus and then Jesus sends him out to the deep and overflows his fishing nets. Who doesn’t want to have an abundance? And yet, I try to put myself in Peter sandals, a strange man steps onto my boat and makes me go back out into the water after a long, tiring, discouraging night...we had caught nothing! Does this sound as wonderful to us now?  Then, Jesus tells Peter to cast his net again! Who does this guy think he is telling me how to do my job!?! Okay, so that’s not exactly following the Bible story, however, I think there is a lot of truth in my retelling of it. Peter probably had a few grumpy thoughts in his mind as would I, but he cooperated anyway and through this cooperation, Jesus offered Peter abundance. He offered him a new life! “Do not be afraid, from now on you will be catching men” (Luke 5:10) and Peter with the other fisherman must have thought this man was offering them something pretty special because they left everything and followed him.

The similarities may not be obvious to you between my one week adventure and Peter’s story. I think it all comes down to the fact that although we might grumble a bit, we both decided to cooperate. And God took care of the rest. I was so glad that particular week that I said “yes” and pray that I will continue to allow Jesus’ invasion of grace to be my strength.  Jesus wants our cooperation and is willing to forgive our doubts, our weaknesses, and our grumbles. “It is trust and nothing but trust that leads us to Love.” -St. Therese of Lisieux

The Invitation

Today I received an invitation. I was flipping through an old book and tucked away in the middle I found this invitation. As I read the words written, I was so excited not to have missed my chance and knew this was one invitation I wanted to shout “yes” too!

This invitation is in the book of Isaiah chapter 55, the chapter heading is called Invitation to Grace. These particular words struck me because the Lord has been working on me a great deal the last couple of months. Right before Easter, all of our children and I had fevers and got fairly sick, as mom I put my own needs aside and took care of everyone. I hardly even asked for Bryce’s help. This led to me becoming very sick, I quickly developed a case of late onset postpartum anxiety and depression. It was a very scary time for everyone in our family including me! I had many people praying for me and supporting me and we leaned into God’s grace. He once again showed up in such a big way, we had decided to spend a few weeks in Oregon, the kids were able to enroll in a wonderful Catholic school and I was able to exercise each day and take some quiet time. The Lord always knows exactly what we need. The other thing the Lord did during this time was teach me about His deep love for us and His constant mercy. As often as I have heard these words, I feel like I didn’t really understand them until now. In many different ways and through many different people Jesus keeps telling me to trust Him completely, to be weak and empty handed before him, to surrender all before Him. I knew this invitation was from Jesus to me!

The night before I read Isaiah 55, I was telling Bryce how I was picturing God throwing a big dinner party and inviting me. I would ask the Lord “what can I bring?” His response was “nothing, allow me to spoil you, allow me to care for you, I LOVE YOU” So often, when we get invited to someone’s house I ask ‘what can we bring?” and often people say” just yourselves” and I accept that answer and feel honored by it. However with Jesus, I feel like I need to bring something, I need to look my best, feel my best, bring the best part of myself. The Lord keeps saying, “No, I love you as you are right now, broken, weak, scared, sinful. Please come, please say “yes” to me to my invitation, allow me to fill you.” So I have been working on saying “yes” and allowing the Lord to love me as I am, allowing Him to use me, as I am, for His glory. I am trusting in my “host” and saying “yes” to his invitation to grace, to His divine life within me.

And this is Jesus’ response to my “yes”:

“All you who are thirsty, come to the water! You who have no money, come, receive grain and eat; Come without paying and without cost, drink wine and milk! Heed me and you shall eat well, you shall delight in rich fare. Come to me heedfully, listen, that you may have life.” Isaiah 55: 1-3

Update Blog!

First and foremost, Bryce and I need to apologize for our lack of updates! Please forgive our awful communication skills. Since we have left the Philippines and returned to Oregon, we kept saying we will write our newsletter and blog after this happens or that happens. Well, here we are now and entirely too much time has passed since we have communicated with our faith-filled partners in mission. So I will start the update from there.

Upon returning to Oregon, we found ourselves in the lovely town of Sublimity, Oregon. We attempted to find ways to remain faithful to our charisms of serving the poor and evangelizing while we were back. Due to the season of summer and the impending birth of our fifth child, not many of the opportunities worked out. We were blessed to share about our experiences with my women’s bible study, a young adults gathering and with a group of young, married Catholics. We also participated in two Vacation Bible Schools, and worked as a family at our local food share sorting and packing the food. Josephine Marie was born on July 9th (9 days late)! She weighed in at 9 lbs 7 oz, and was 22 inches long! She has been such a blessing to our family!

Three weeks after she was born, we decided to do our family retreat and begin discerning our next step. God made Himself abundantly clear that our next step was to slow down! We were not ready for the mission field and not ready to discern! We did discern that a trip to Louisiana was a good first step and were able to visit before Intake 2016 began. It was a great blessing to be with our community and to include them in our discernment process. Bryce was also able to help them get ready for Intake by working on a trailer for kids ministry. During his prayer time, Bryce was given a scripture that pointed to Spain. After much prayer and discernment individually, as a family and with our directors, we have decided to pursue Cordoba, Spain as our next mission post. We have contacted their Bishop and are awaiting his response. We are now living in Louisiana, helping out at Family Missions Company home-base and are eagerly anticipating our next mission post. Our time in the Philippines was so blessed and we loved the people, the community and our ministries! We will miss all of them; however this journey belongs to God. Please pray for us as we seek to know God’s will for our lives and that we have the courage to keep saying yes!    

St. Luke, St. Theresa, St. Lawrence, & St. Dominic 

going to the All Saints' Day party

Thank you again for all your prayers, emotional and financial support during this journey of living and sharing God’s love with the people of the world. May God bless you all abundantly!

A Day in the Life of a Missionary Family - Malaybalay

     Today was a beautiful day of being a missionary. We started the morning making 2 cups of "hand-brewed" coffee and oatmeal for the family. Up until recently we had 1 pot and 1 pan. Recently we were given a second pot! We feel a bit spoiled, but it sure is nice to be able to make coffee and oatmeal at the same time!

Who needs a coffee maker when you have a funnel and a handkerchief? 

     Then we headed to the house of the "single ladies" (our missionary team of young women) for Morning Prayer with the community - 5 families (including 15 kids) and 5 single ladies sitting mostly on the floor of their little house. It was an awesome time of singing praise songs and joining the world-wide Church in praying the Liturgy of the Hours. It is very powerful to know that we are praying the same words that are being prayed as the sun rises over monasteries, convents, rectories, mission houses, homes and apartments the world over.
     Then we loaded 15 people, 1 guitar, and 1 digital projector and laptop into our little van and drove to the local jail. After greeting the inmates and singing a couple songs of praise I was blessed to be able to lead a teaching on the Peace that only Jesus can bring. Peace that can break through the locked doors of fear, even when we are scared, hurt or angry and the gift of the Holy Spirit which strengthens us with Supernatural power to love, serve and forgive (John 20:19-23). Then we were humbled to hear the testimony of faith in Jesus which has brought forgiveness, peace and strength to an inmate who was falsely accused. I have been floored to hear many stories of how the regular visits of the missionaries have changed people's hearts and set them on fire for Jesus!

     Then we came home and ate a quick lunch. Angel started working on home-school with the younger 3 children while Eddie (our 11-year old son) and I went out to find some groceries for a family who can't go back to their home in the mountains to work, while they are awaiting their daughter's surgery. We also bought some medicine for a patient we helped to see the doctor last week. After delivering the food and praying with the family, we visited with a few more families in Isla Bonita.

    Then we took the medicine to a local missionary family who knew the patient. Please pray for this family as they are trying to get their visas to go to another country in Asia. Their faith and generosity blows me away! They give so generously the little they have to care for the poor around them and are putting all their trust in God to provide benefactors/sponsors to help them go forth and proclaim the Good News to the Nations. It is very challenging for our Filipino missionaries to raise the needed funds as their family and friends spend most of what they earn just to put food on the table. (If God puts it on your heart to help them out, even a one time gift or becoming a $20 per month benefactor would make a huge difference for them, please let me know and I'll get you their newsletter. Thanks!).
      As we were driving and walking through the market Eddie and I were able to talk about the joy that he saw in me as I proclaimed God's love in the morning and the sadness felt by the people who shared their struggles with us in the evening. Eddie still wants to be a famous soccer player when he grows up but I hope and pray that today's experiences, and the life we are blessed to live, will help him to become a holy man who makes a difference in the lives of the people he meets, whatever his career may be.
     After this we met the single ladies to let them borrow our van so they could travel out of town for a mission/service trip, then they dropped us off at home for dinner. After dinner the other kids colored and played games while Angel helped Eddie get a little home-school in as I washed the dishes. Thankfully the water stayed on long enough that I could get a quick cold shower in before we got the kids ready for bed. After praying with the kids, Angel read a chapter from C.S. Lewis' "Voyage of the Dawn Treader" aloud as they (& I) fell asleep. After that we finally have time for our personal prayer time. It's 11:10pm and Angel has finished her prayer time and is now asleep (pregnancy will do that to you) and I'm now done writing this for you (and me). Now I get to spend some time with our Lord in His Word before heading to bed. Thankfully we made a commitment to pray at least 15 minutes in private prayer, with Scripture, each day. This has been such a blessing for us!
     Thank You Jesus for a blessed day of living in Your love! Salamat sa Dios! And thank you for making this day possible by being our partners in mission through your prayers and financial support! May God bless you!
         

Look at What You Did!

      As I am sitting in the Malaybalay jail, I am contemplating our life here. I often think about all of you back home, especially our donors and prayer partners. There have been many acts of kindness and generosity that have been done because of you and by you...and you don't even know that you are doing them. Today is Easter Tuesday and you are visiting the jail and sharing with them very Good News - that Jesus died for them and conquered death for them, that He loves each one of them personally and passionately! I am not sure how many of these men and women have ever thought very much about God's love for them and many have not been shown His love very well in the past. Today you shared this message of love and you delivered Easter eggs to them, a festive, healthy, and filling snack. In a jail where they are served only the basics like rice and a little fish, this weekly snack is greatly appreciated. You also passed out 260 individual packets of hygiene supplies, coffee, and snacks. In the prison here, you are not automatically given these things, especially if you have no money or no family who will buy them for you.

     Separate from jail ministry, today you are also listening and praying about helping with a situation that would reunite a mother and sister with their baby far away in a place that has more job opportunities. You have allowed a different single mother to earn a fair and living wage in order to help take care of her two little boys, while allowing a pregnant woman a break from doing laundry by hand (that is me!). You are not even counting the small moments where you were are able to witness to people in stores and on the street by simply saying, "Maayong hapon!" (Good afternoon!) "No, I don't speak very much Visayan yet, and yes we are Catholic Missionaries from the US. We have come to help people fall more in love with Jesus, and to serve the poor." And throughout the day you allowed many prayers to be offered for the poor, for missionaries, for you! and for those whose lives you are trying to change.

     I attempt on a regular basis to figure out what God has for us here and whether we are doing enough. The answer I realized today is that I am not doing anything. God is the one who does everything, through you, through me, and through His many people that cross our path. The only questions I need to ask are; Am I seeking God today? Am I listening and obeying the creator of Heaven and Earth? Am I reading His Word each day and allowing Him to speak to me through it?
    If the answer to these questions is "yes" then it does not matter whether I am at the jail, riding in a motorela, at our local sari-sari store or parenting our children - then I am doing the will of God!

Letter Home

Dear friends and family,
      It has been a long and yet quick month since our family has arrived in the Philippines. We are continually trying to adjust to our new normal. Often as soon as we manage to figure one thing out, we find there are ten more things we don't know how to do. Our use of technology has actually been one of the most challenging adjustments, so we apologize for our slack in this area. It's been challenging making the internet work and making the time to write updates. I thought I would try and catch you all up on some of our activities.

    Family life, parenting, cooking, washing the dishes and laundry by hand, grocery shopping, and figuring out the kids' schooling has absorbed a lot of our time. We have decided recently to try home schooling with the kids which will be a blessing and a challenge. It is amazing how much time gets spent doing everyday things! I could write an entire blog on adapting to a new way of cleaning, cooking, grocery shopping all while trying to parent four kids! However, I also want to include some of the ministry things we have been doing as well.
In coming to Malaybalay, we were joining an already active ministry group. Part of our time acclimating this month has been getting to know our community and praying together as a community. We are one of five families and we also are blessed to have four single women in our community. In addition, there is at least one other family from here who are interested in becoming missionaries and are currently serving in the role of missionary interns. One of the ongoing ministries that this community started is a weekly Bible study with the wonderful people from one of the poorer neighborhoods. Through this neighborhood, we were also blessed to experience a "Jericho March". There have recently been a few suicides in this community so we went to their neighborhood seven days in a row gathering with many members of the community marched around and prayed with them and for them. Each night we walked once around the community while praying and on the seventh day, we walked seven times around and were even able to have a missionary priest from S.O.L.T. celebrate Sunday mass in their community center. It was a very special blessing for our family to become part of their community through prayer, friendships and time. Eddie, Luke, Dominic and Cabrini all pray often for the people of Isla Bonita and all ask to go visit often.
    
Through the community of Isla we have all been able to help buy some medicine and pay some hospital bills. It has been a shock and a challenge to adjust cost of living differences, exchange rate as well as daily wage. Bryce and Eddie have also been able to visit a few people in the hospital and pray with them and for them. Some of the visitors to our house and to our gate have formed relationships with the missionaries who lived in our house before us. It is a blessing to be invited into many people's lives so quickly but also difficult to continue the good things that were previously instituted. Bryce and I have been blessed to participate in a Filipino group wedding and a baptism.
The prison ministry was a bit intimidating to me and I actually presumed it was a men's only ministry. I have since learned that the prison we visit in Malaybalay is very different from the prisons in the United States. The men and women are kept in the same prison but in different areas. They are very open to learning about God and when we visit the prison even the children are allowed. One of our mission partners was inspired by the Pope and had us wash the prisoner's feet. It was a very humbling experience and helped me to feel more comfortable there. It was also amazing to hear the testimonies of the prisoners who shared their great gratitude for the missionaries who have helped them come to know a God who loves them and has changed their lives!
One of the more recent things we got to experience with our community was a retreat with our fellow missionaries from Camiguin Island also in the Philippines, about 7 hours from Malaybalay. It was a blessing to be together in a large group and to be reminded again of God's call for our family and the life He desires for us.  

Thank you so much for your spiritual, emotional and financial support! Without you all, there is no way we could do this! We thank you for joining us in helping share the love of Jesus with the people the Lord has sent us to. We are praying for you all and beg you to continue praying for us! Thank you!
        And as a reward for making it this far into this blog; we found out we're having a girl!!
In the Peace of Jesus,
Bryce, Angel and kids

Extraordinary Love

     God is calling you! He wants you! So you should be willing to change your life but not in such an extreme way as to become a foreign missionary...
     This message or one similar to it seemed to be presented several times and in several different ways during the months Bryce and I were quietly discerning God's call for us to become foreign missionaries.
     Lately it has been echoing around my mind again and the reason is this, Our God is Extraordinary! He is the creator of the universe, He is beyond time, beyond space! He knows all of his creations intimately! I am even more deeply aware of His extraordinary nature during this time of year. God chose to send his only son here as an infant so that Jesus could eventually save all of us from our sin and our death by dying on a cross and rising from the dead! In our Catholic faith, we believe God did all of this and allows us to partake of Him and be intimately united with Him when we receive Him in the Eucharist!
     I was reading the book of Luke in the Bible the other day and I came across the story of the two disciples on the road to Emmaus and I came across this verse Luke 24:15 "Jesus himself drew near and walked with them." It may not seem like much to you but when I read it, I was floored by the extraordinary love our God has for us! Jesus, who is God, chose to be close to us, so close in fact, He became one of us! He walks with us in our struggles, in our pain, in our sin and in our suffering just to unite us with our heavenly Father!
     So back to my original question, why would our God ask us to do something extraordinary? Because our God is extraordinary and He wants us to be like Him! He did not create any of us to be ordinary. He does not love us with an ordinary love. He calls all of us to the extraordinary so He can reveal even more of Himself to us, so He can pour even more extraordinary grace upon us!
     Just to clarify, I am not saying everyone is called to be a foreign missionary but I am saying God does have something extraordinary for you, just ask Him!
     Merry Christmas!!!